Oscar Eve!

In a perfect world, The Hangover would be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar, Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper would be vying for Best Actor honors, director Todd Phillips would be a shoo-in for Best Director and screenwriters Phillips, Jon Lucas, Scott Moore and Jeremy Garelick would get a Lifetime Achievement Award for penning an instant classic.

Alas, it is not a perfect world (and don't even get me started on what all is currently wrong with it), and The Hangover has been inexplicably shut out.

But, those golden statues are going to be handed out tomorrow night, and if I were in charge, here's who the envelope would go to:

Best Picture: An Education, a coming-of-age story where the bookish ingenue learns tough lessons in life and love.
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges, who is better as a hard-drinking, has-been musician than the material in Crazy Heart deserves.
Best Actress: Carey Mulligan, who came out of nowhere to nail the role of an innocent schoolgirl who falls for a debonair older man in 1960s London in An Education.
Best Supporting Actor: The Messenger's Woody Harrelson for his work as hardened military officer assigned the grim duty of telling the next-of-kin when a family member has been killed in the line of duty.
Best Supporting Actress: It will be a disgrace if Mo'Nique doesn't win for her explosive turn as an abusive welfare mother in Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire.
Best Director: Hhmmmm. A tough one, since I'm not a big fan of any of the work nominated. I'll go with Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker because it would be nice to see a woman go home with Best Director honors for the first time ever.

Almost as nice as it would be to see The Hangover honored by the Academy.