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Warning you about crappy movies since 2008.

Saturday, March 5, 2011


The best performance in this "thriller" (and I use the term loosely) is by ... Diane Kruger's stunt driver. There are some pretty bitchin' car chases and crashes in this movie. And, that's about the best that can be said for it.

Liam Neeson sleepwalks through it and looks slightly embarrassed to be starring in it. January Jones looks beautiful, which is really about all she's asked to do. Kruger looks great, too, but thumbs down to the person who cast her as a cab driver -- and a Bosnian immigrant, to boot. As if. Someone should've suggested a dialect coach for Kruger and the "German" M.D. who sounds French.

Get ready for the most implausible story line to come down the pike in quite some time. Neeson plays an American botanist who's in Berlin with his wife (Jones) for a -- get this -- glamorous biotech conference. Before the conference begins, his taxi (driven by Kruger's incredible stunt driver) crashes, rendering him comatose for four days. He wakes from the coma and is perfectly fine, save for a Band-Aid on his forehead. He returns to the luxe hotel (where I'm sure all botanists stay when in Berlin), but his wife acts as if she's never seen him before.

To top if off, another man (Aidan Quinn) is pretending to be the good doctor! And, doing a darn good job of it, too. This leads to loads of frustration for Neeson's character and allows him to happen upon a detective who is willing to help him figger out just what up. And, his stumbling on Berlin's best detective (a former member of the Stasi -- natch!) is just one of many coinkydinks that help the nonsensical plot move along at a fevered clip to a crazy ending. Towards the end (when the entire audience -- those who hadn't yet walked out -- was getting fidgety), you'll see how the screenwriter gets hordes of glamazon models to the biotech conference. Because everyone knows that supermodels are always showing up at biotech conventions.

Like I said -- implausible. Skip it.


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