Tokyo!

What a mess.

I had seen this movie compared favorably with the delightful (mostly), Paris, Je T'aime. Both movies are supposedly love letters to the cities in which they're set. The Paris movie made me want to hop on a plane and revisit that magnificent city. Tokyo! (the movie) cured me of ever wanting to visit.

The movie is a trilogy of 40-minute movies helmed by three different directors. The first one is by Michel Gondry, the guy responsible for movies both wondrous (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) and wretched (Be Kind, Rewind). This one falls into the latter category. A 20-something couple arrives in Tokyo to promote a film the boyfriend has made. They camp out at the world's tiniest flat with a friend. This place is too small for its one occupant. It's downright inappropriate for three. Well, the girlfriend begins to feel out of sorts and lost in the big city. And, it doesn't help that her boyfriend treats her poorly -- telling her she has no ambition. She feels like just part of the scenery. Before the whole thing is over (SPOILER ALERT!) she turns into a piece of furniture. Seriously. She becomes a chair. And, then it's over.

Surely, the next segment would be better than the previous, I thought. Not so much. In this installment, a creep with long fingernails, a milky eye and a flowing, red goatee emerges from a sewer to terrorize the city. He swipes cigarettes from passersby, steals money and eats it and wreaks havoc in general. He gets caught and is interrogated by the only person who understands his guttural language -- a French attorney who has the same long fingernails, milky eye and flowing, red goatee. Need I go on?

I hope, by now, you're getting the picture that this was one big waste of time and $7.25. If you're hoping to know who/what the beast turns out to be or what the third mini-movie was about, you will have to see it for yourselves. I walked out. My advice: Skip it.