About Me

Warning you about crappy movies since 2008.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Never Let Me Go

The children at Hailsham, this picturesque and isolated boarding school in 1970s England, have their destinies laid out for them. They just don't know it yet.

Kathy H. (played by the remarkable Izzy Meikle-Small, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Carey Mulligan, the actress who plays the grown-up version of her) and her classmates are happily unaware of the fate that awaits them. They study, play and take good care of their health, all under the stern gaze of the headmistress, played by the first-rate Charlotte Rampling.

The three young classmates are involved in a love triangle, but it would hardly seem to matter who ended up with whom, given that their ultimate fates are predestined.

Then again, since they -- like all of us -- have only a finite number of days on earth, wouldn't it behoove everyone to make the most of our allotment? That's just one of the big, intriguing questions posed in this atmospheric and melancholy movie.

The whole premise -- once we learn Hailsham's secret -- seems a little scifi, until you remember the shameful Tuskegee experiments our own government was responsible for. The secret is horrifying, and all the more so since it's plausible.

Keira Knightley and Andrew Garfield (seen recently in The Social Network) do well at playing mournful, lonely and resigned young adults, but the movie belongs to Mulligan. See it.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Animal Kingdom

Pity the teenage "J," who goes to live with his grandmum and uncles after his mum dies of a heroine overdose.

Grandma Smurf is not your archetypal grandma. She's a tart who's a big player in an Australian crime syndicate, and she controls every move -- hardly any of them legal -- her adult sons make. Jacki Weaver is criminally good in her role as matriarch/criminal mastermind. And, J may as well be another foot soldier in her gun-toting, drug-dealing army.

The only actor better than Weaver is James Frecheville, the lad who plays J. He goes from naive to dumbstruck to bewildered to enraged and is never less than 100 percent believable, although he's in an unbelievable predicament.

The audience finds out, at the same time J does, just how sociopathic most of this family is. Yet, they're the only family he's got. His choices become more and more limited as the film progresses -- and as more and more of his seeming allies get bumped off.

It's good to see Guy Pearce on screen again, although his role as a benevolent police officer is small. J must struggle to figure out if he should remain loyal to his trigger-happy family or trust this policeman who offers him safety. With his family's connections, is safety even possible?

Gripping, twisted and compelling from start to finish. See it!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Fanny, Annie & Danny

You've heard of families who put the "fun" in "dysfunctional."

That's not this family.

These people are downright hateful. There's a bitter, controlling mother (one of the most memorable performances I've seen this year!) who has a clear favorite among her three children and doesn't hesitate to let everyone know it. Her favorite is her son, Danny, who has no interest in his doting mother -- since he's too busy looking out for himself. One daughter, Annie, has built up a lifetime of resentment because she's had to look out for her developmentally disabled older sister, Fanny. There's a father around, too, but he's just trying his best to stay out of everyone's way.

When this fragile, wounded clan gets together for Christmas, there are sure to be awkward moments, tears and yelling, guilt trips, hurt feelings and plenty of drama. It's cynical, darkly comical, weird, angst-filled, quirky and a complete original. A wondrous discovery. See it!

Charlotteans: It's here for one night only, courtesy of the Charlotte Film Festival: Saturday, Sept. 25 at 7 p.m. at Park Terrace. I urge you to see it.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The American

Think you can't get enough of George Clooney? I challenge you to sit through The American, a new movie that bills itself as a thriller and stars George and no one you've ever heard of, and see if you get your fill.

I agree with the rest of the population in thinking George is a perfect specimen of extreme good looks, charisma, humor and talent with a giant dose of humanitarianism tossed in. But, let me tell you: There is a chink in his armor, and it's called The American.

With its beautiful, but dangerous, women; varied European locales; secret agent-y, "Who can you trust?" aura; and copious amounts of gunfire, it could, at first blush, remind you of a James Bond movie. Except, there is a total lack of snappy dialogue. In fact, there's almost no dialogue at all. And, the European locales are all washed-out. The landscape matches the storyline and the acting. It's all ho-hum.

See George do push-ups and pull-ups. See George fashion a new weapon out of spare parts. See George have clandestine meetings in bland coffee shops. See George stare off into the middle-distance.

We never learn anything about George's background. Hell, we don't even know if his character's name is Jack or Edward. (He's known by both.) Who's he working for? Who's he out to get, and why? What's his mission? If you're looking for answers, you won't find them here.

Killing-for-hire, prostitution and Italy and Denmark have never looked duller.

George Clooney has joked in past interviews about his work in the sitcom Facts of Life. I think he'll one day joke about this lame effort, too. Skip it.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Wild Grass

I have no idea what to think about this colorful, bizarre, dreamy, French mystery/love story/drama. Wild Grass starts out as a standard-enough crime drama (woman has fire engine red wallet stolen (from lemon yellow purse), man finds it and takes it the police). But soon enough, the man who did the good deed is stalking the woman with the missing wallet. So far, so good. And, the saturated color palette -- brilliant reds, yellows and blues -- is something to behold!

In most movies, the woman would get scared at the onset of the stalking and take out a restraining order.

But, this woman -- a wild-haired dentist/pilot -- begins stalking her stalker right back. Not for retribution -- but because she is intrigued by him. Maybe, she even loves him.

Along the way, we meet the fellow's much younger wife, the woman's best friend and fellow dentist and a host of other minor characters. We come to discover that the finder-of-the-wallet has a violent, criminal past and an interest in aviation.

The characters go about their quotidian lives -- working in the yard, filling cavities -- and continue to haunt each other. Is it all a dream? A fairy tale? An allegory? Who knows? But, it is well-acted, beautiful to look at and hard to forget. If only because I want someone to explain its meaning to me, I suggest you see it.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I Am Love

First of all, the title. What the ...? I thought the movie would make it clear who exactly love was, but that, like a lot of things, is left up in the air.

I Am Love, and its magnificent star, Tilda Swinton, are gorgeous to behold. The modern-day Italian aristocracy sure does show well. Swinton's Emma is always elegantly turned out, beautifully coiffed and a superb hostess, to boot. As the wife of a fabulously wealthy industrialist, she's had to host her share of dinner parties at their villa. And, she enjoys it. Despite having an entire staff at the ready, Emma enjoys preparing meals, especially one of her son's favorites -- an old recipe she recalls from her native Russia.

Apparently, Swinton learned to speak not only Italian, but Russian-accented Italian, for this film. If only the screenplay were worthy of such a feat.

Swinton is marvelous to look at, but after dozens of close-ups where the camera lingers (and lingers ...) on her, you start to wish there were a story here.

Oh, some stuff happens. The company that created all this wealth is going to be sold. Tilda's daughter decides she's a lesbo. And, Tilda's son meets a young chef who will become Tilda's lover. (Hey, maybe he is love?)

He's horribly miscast. Rugged is one thing. But, this guy just looks unclean. He and Tilda cook together, she eats his food, she gives him that Russian fish recipe, blah, blah. It takes two hours for this stuff to unfold, and none of it -- none of it -- seems to matter.

This is the second movie I've seen this month where a character solves a "mystery" (that he/she didn't even realize existed) by finding red hair where it wasn't supposed to be. (The other was The Kids are All Right, which also stunk.) Hair!? HAIR?! Carolyn Keene left better clues than that in the Nancy Drew series.

So, then the drama becomes melodrama, and really, the whole thing just goes to hell. But, it never ceases to be beautiful to look at. Skip it.

The Other Guys

Everyone is going to be quoting lines from this Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg laughfest for some time to come. Some of the yuks may even wind up becoming part of the pop culture lexicon. (I can't wait to refer to someone as a "paper bitch" and will be trying desperately to find a way to insert "forensic accountant" into my lingo.) Unless you want to be left out, you should see it!

P.S. Welcome back to the big screen, Michael Keaton! His police captain who works a second job as a Bed, Bath and Beyond manager is pure joy to watch.