About Me

Warning you about crappy movies since 2008.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Every Little Step

A Chorus Line, as everyone knows, is a much-beloved Broadway musical. It's based on the experiences of actual Broadway performers. Every Little Step is a documentary about the audition and casting of the recent revival of A Chorus Line. So, you meet real people who are auditioning to play characters based on real people.

And, many of the original cast and crew of A Chorus Line were involved in the casting and production of the revival. So, you have real people auditioning to play characters based on real people, and -- in some cases -- those real people are the very ones judging the auditions and deciding who will play them.

It's all very circular.

These Broadway stars and wannabes are multi-talented. They have to sing, dance and act -- and they have to do it all well. Every singer/dancer/actor in New York (and elsewhere, for that matter) seems to want a part in A Chorus Line. And, why wouldn't they? This is the story of their lives -- the endless rehearsals, crowded auditions, heartbreaking rejections and the faded glory of being a Broadway star a little past your prime.

A fascinating look behind the curtain. And, you get to hear What I Did For Love. See it.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Away We Go

Away We Go is an example of what can happen to likable actors (adorable John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph in the lead roles) and an acclaimed director (Sam Mendes) when they meet up with a crappy script. The script in this case, co-written by hipster authors (and husband and wife) Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida tries way too hard to be quirky. Quirky it is, and I'm OK with that. It's just that this script strains to achieve what, say, Diablo Cody made look effortless in Juno.

Rudolph plays Verona, a crunchy woman who lives with -- but refuses to marry --Burt, her hirsute, clueless boyfriend, played by Krasinski. Verona, whose parents are both deceased, gets pregnant early in the film. Burt's folks, who live nearby, will be the baby's only grandparents. When that self-absorbed couple announces they'll soon be moving out of the country, right before the birth of their grandchild, Verona and Burt set about looking for a new city to call home so their baby girl will grow up near family.

They hop from city to city, crashing with crazy old colleagues, family members and college buddies, as they try to find a new home base. The script is so carelessly written that one family the clueless couple stays with -- college chums of the 33-year-old Verona -- has what seems to be four or five adopted children, some teenagers. The husband confides in Burt that the wife has just suffered her fifth miscarriage and, well, shame on them for waiting so late to try to have kids. Huh?! Sure looks like they started their family about 12 or 13 years ago. When they would've likely still been in college.

In another scene meant to be touching, Verona and her sister climb into a bathtub in a showroom and discuss their late parents. Verona weeps. For me, it was just contrived and cloying.

A supporting cast that includes the usually magnificent Allison Janney tries mightily for laughs that never come. Maggie Gyllenhaal as a hippie professor/earth mother is the lone entertaining character we meet on this road trip. She's far from likable, but she is memorable. Which is more than you can say for the rest of the movie.

Away We Go is little more than a series of vignettes with oddball and annoying -- you can't even call them characters -- caricatures. Skip it.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Hangover

By now, you surely know the premise. Three friends (well, two friends and a slightly slow future brother-in-law) take Doug to Vegas for a bachelor party. The three wake up in their luxury suite the morning after to discover blow-up dolls in the tub, a still-smoldering cigar burning a leather chair, a live chicken, an equally live tiger in the bathroom and a baby in the closet. Oh, and the groom is missing.

No one has any recollection of the previous night. They've got to find their friend but will need to do a bit of (bumbling) detective work to retrace their steps.

If the summary sounds hysterical, wait until you see these hapless guys in action. The fellas may be stereotypes, but they're still HI-larious. Ed Helms (Dwight Shrute's rival for Angela on The Office) plays the hen-pecked professional who is fearful of his battle ax of a live-in girlfriend. Bradley Cooper plays the hot stud who's unhappily married and complains about the old ball and chain at every turn. He's also a teacher, and he complains about that, too.

The dimwitted brother, though, is a complete original. He gets the best lines, and his helpless longing to just be one of the guys provides the raunchy proceedings with a bit of heart.

While many of the plot devices used (mistaken identity, for one) are a bit worn, they're made to seem fresh here. The old you-got-my-suitcase-and-I-got-yours-since-they-are-identical gag (from What's Up, Doc?) is updated here to involve a man purse.

The ending will not come as a surprise to anyone, but there are plenty of surprises to be had in Vegas to keep the movie laugh out-loud funny from start through the final credits. See it.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Shall We Kiss?

This French (with subtitles) movie provides a cinematic retort to "A Kiss is Just a Kiss."

A kiss is never just a kiss, this movie seems to be saying. One kiss can alter the entire course of a life. For better or for worse.

Shall We Kiss? starts with a typical "meet cute," which sets up the premise. A lovely woman is in town on business and can't find a taxi. She asked a handsome passerby where to hail a cab, and he offers to take her to her hotel. He invites her to dinner and, since she has nothing else to do, she accepts. When he drops her back at the hotel, he asks politely for a kiss. She tells him she cannot allow it, given what she knows about how there's really no such thing as an innocent kiss. With that, he's so intrigued that he insists on hearing the story.

From there, we see the story in flashbacks involving another couple -- seemingly happily married -- and the wife's (male) best friend. Their story takes a number of unpredictable and, at times, hysterical turns. At one point, we're treated to the most clinical, least passionate movie love scene in recent memory. It's intentionally funny.

If all this sounds like standard rom-com fare, it's not. There are funny parts, but this movie is much more melancholy than your average romantic comedy. On one level, it's a rumination on how hard it is for couples to stay together and remain faithful -- even in the happiest of marriages.

The story told in flashbacks is so engaging, it's easy to forget that our storyteller is back in a hotel bar with a man she's just met who is hanging on her every word. Hers is a cautionary tale, alright, but will both protagonists be able to resist a little liplock after all the time they've spent together and all the vin rouge they've drunk? Find out for yourself. See it.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Up

What a dear movie this is.

Luckily, as with all Pixar's movies, it's aimed as much at adults as it is the typical Disney demographic. The animation is magical, of course. But, it's the story that won me over.

If you've seen the previews, then you know an old curmudgeon ties oodles of helium balloons to his house, and up he goes. You also know that a stowaway is on board -- a cute, plump, eager-to-please kid hoping to earn his last scouting badge ("Assisting the Elderly") in order to be promoted to the next rank.

What the previews didn't show was why old Carl Fredrickson (voiced by Ed Asner) became such a grump. He wasn't always so. The kid, Russell, has his own bittersweet back story, too. To reveal any more would spoil the sweet story Pixar has in store.

It's mostly light-hearted fun (except for when it's yanking at your heartstrings), but there are several scenes with some well-trained and mean attack dogs. My six-year-old nephew seemed unfazed by them, but a certain movie critic found them a little scary.

Since this is Disney, everyone learns a valuable lesson before it's all over -- including those of us in the audience. The summer blockbusters don't generally interest me, but Up made my spirits soar. See it!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Valentino: The Last Emperor

I don't think you have to be a fashionista or style watcher to enjoy this documentary about the life and career of designer Valentino. After all, I enjoyed it.

It's about equal parts love story, Project Runway and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

Valentino may be a genius, but he has the temperament and prickliness that often accompanies it. Giancarlo -- his partner in business and love -- has fussed over him, suffered under him, tolerated him and adored him for 45 years. They quibble like the old, married couple they are, but it is evident throughout the film that each man couldn't make do without the other.

The movie follows Valentino and Giancarlo as they prepare for what seems to be the fashion show to end all fashion shows. Talk abounds of Valentino's potential retirement from a business (and an art form) he loves and helped create. Such talk is clearly upsetting to both men, yet they endure those questions from media and fans at every turn.

It's fascinating to watch Valentino sketch, drape and create one masterpiece after another. While Valentino attends to the clothes, Giancarlo attends to everything else. He conceived of and designed the set for the big extravaganza in Rome that may or may not be the swan song for the designer. The camera catches him whispering to Valentino as they enter an event to honor the more famous of the duo: "Don't forget to thank everyone for coming. Oh, and your secretary's son just graduated from college."

The rich, famous and impossibly thin people Valentino surrounds himself with are on parade here. Peeking in on such an extravagant life -- where the five pampered pugs live better than most humans do -- is a guilty pleasure. But, the filmmaker never lets us forget that this is, under all the glamor, snark and sequins, a deeply felt love story. See it.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Goodbye Solo

Every year or so, an indie movie comes along that captures the hearts of nearly all the critics ... and leaves me baffled as to why. Lost in Translation and Junebug were just such movies.

Goodbye Solo is likely that movie for 2009.

According to www.rottentomatoes.com, 100 percent of critics agree that Goodbye Solo is one of the best movies of the year and that the writer/director is the new Scorsese or Tarantino. WTF?

The premise is promising enough. William, a world-weary, old man hires a cab to take him to the movies one night. He offers a hefty advance to the Senegalese cabbie (Solo) to drive him from Winston-Salem, N.C. to Blowing Rock two weeks hence -- on Oct. 20. Delightful Solo is a little suspicious of this surly fellow who wants a one-way ride to the mountains and isn't planning to meet anyone once he gets there. Solo wonders if he's planning to jump off the mountain. Bingo!

Solo's love of life is contagious, and he assumes he'll be able to talk this stranger out of killing himself over the next two weeks. And, he tries mightily.

But, William is one bitter old man. He softens occasionally under Solo's care, but then goes right back to being a cussing, angry son-of-a-gun. The movie could've been deeply affecting, if we ever found out why William is so bitter. But, that would apparently be too much to ask of co-writer/director Ramin Bahrani. William is given no back story at all. It's pretty hard to care about his character when we know so little about what makes him tick.

The lone good actor in the cast is Souleymane Sy Savane, who plays Solo. Every other character, from movie ticket takers to a pharmacist at a drive-thru, gives either a wooden delivery of his lines or an overly excited one.

I suppose Winston-Salem is supposed to look down-and-out, and it does. We see the same exterior shot of the fleabag motel William checks into while he awaits D-Day countless times. Even the director of My Name is Earl shows more varied shots of the hotel where Earl lives.

Just how sloppy is the film making? One actor calls Solo "Souleymane" (his real name!) Now, perhaps "Solo" is short for "Souleymane," but shouldn't that be made clear?

By the time Oct. 20 rolls around, I didn't much care if William followed through on his plan or not. I was ready to big him "goodbye" about 15 minutes into the film.

Slow, sloppy, unimaginatively shot and utterly lacking in human interest ... I see nothing redeeming about this movie. Skip it.